quarter of a century, fifth of my life.

That I am turning 25 on Friday has been figuring pretty greatly lately. I started to do Beyonce's master cleanse in spiritual preparation. But, instead of ten days, it only lasted until dinner time. For better or for worse, I remain me.

Though I didn't know it when I dragged myself out of bed this morning, today needed me. Today was a much better day.

When I awake my heart catches up and I want to retch. But, you know what? I get out of bed and go on anyway. Sometimes I wonder why I do that but I know why, and hey, why not?

This morning in the shower in the dark before the sunrise I opened this thing of pomegranate mango body wash and forgot everything. The first time I remember flying I bought a pack of gum that smelled just like that. Where was I trying to get to?

I have nothing else to look forward to. Everything in me needs something and badly, but what? There is a species of caterpillar that lays its eggs and then changes into a moth that has no digestive system, no way of taking in food, so that it starves to death in a few hours.

There’s this book about Jesus with a map on the cover with a key entitled An Explanation of Colors. I want to learn to write again. I need to. I can’t breathe.

i want to live some place where the plants survive the winter.