exhausted. these vacations that aren't vacations. you know. so i remembered that canada is cold. never knew how cold alberta until today. and packing all those winter scarves and mitts i must have forgot how warm california is. like a dream i get off the final plane and the outdoor temperature is like the indoor temperature. lug my stuff home in a cardigan sans mittens and soon am sweating. it is magical. the air smells great. people in california act kind, they make conversation, they offer to carry your suitcases. when i arrived home there was a fire burning and two huskies to greet. unpacking i found a patch in my pocket, one i got in berlin that says "trust your desires." i've abided by that with california and with lately. how painful and exciting this life is.